beauties! This journey has been an incredible one. It has been full of ups and downs but I am extremely thankful for it. It's hard to be away from your children. I think some really don't "get it". If you've never adopted I'm sure it's hard to understand. During this process we have had people make comments to us that prove they don't get it. We've had some ask us if we are still going to do it since it has taken so long, others have said, "it seems like you were just there and you're going back?" I realized they didn't think of Noah or now Mia and Hope as "our" children. I think in their minds they are not ours until they are home. They don't realize the love you feel before you ever meet them. I remember not knowing who Noah was or where he was, but I already loved him. I would cry and pray for the Lord to watch over him, protect him and lead me to him. I couldn't even explain how I could feel this way let alone expect anyone else to understand it. Fortunately I came to realize it was because God gave me the love for Noah and now for Mia and Hope. It's not something you do in your own strength. I guess you could, but I wouldn't want to. 
The day I met Noah felt like the day I met Camden I had the same rush of emotion, the same love overflowing and the same tears running down my cheek. When I now hold Mia, I feel like I do when I hold Ali. The same feeling of joy and love. When I hold Hope, I feel like I do when I hold Jordyn. The same feeling of peace and pride. They don't feel different. I realize they do not look the same, they didn't come from mine or Jeremy's DNA, but they were conceived, it just happened to be in our hearts. Not a day or even an hour goes by that I don't miss them, wonder what they are doing, how they are doing or wonder if they know how much we love them. I heard the other day that Mia had a fever and I wanted so bad to be there with her, to hold her, to pray for her, to do all the things I do for the three I have at home. I know the day will come and I am anxiously awaiting that day, but until then I wish people truly realized what it feels like. Mia, Noah and Hope are as much our children to us as Jordyn, Ali and Camden are. They just happen to live in a different country.
So kiddos, I know you can't read this but sometimes posting makes me feel like I'm talking to you. I love you and I can't wait to be with you again!! 48 days and counting.......
9 comments:
Only another adoptive parent can truly understand. I look at my children and I do not see "color", I see gifts from an almighty God who has trusted Jody and I enough to love them and care for them while they are on earth. A few weeks ago I had no idea that I had another son, yet that doesn't change the fact that I do!! Isaiah is as much my son as Jimmy, Andrew, Shane, Dylan and Landon are! Only 1 of these boys came from my body, but none the less they are my son's. And I love everyone one of them, including Isaiah.
Other people may not understand but God does!! Thank you Jesus for the peace you provide!!
we're waiting for you too! noah says, "m'ale sevensveele!"
well, he says, "ma ma ma ma m'ale sevensveele!"
but whatever!
Michelle,
THANK YOU for this post. I have felt it but just didn't know how to express it in words! Thank you sister for giving me words!
Yes, I have learned, sometimes the hard way not everyone understands. But by the grace of God, HE called us to adopt and I heard him.
I praise him everyday for giving us Jonas.
I too am counting down the days I get to see him and hold him and love on him. Jonas that is. I'll gladly give Noah hugs too. LOL
Ok, I'm not really a cryer...
but you made me cry a little(just a little though). I was talking to my brother the other day (one of 6, yes! siiiiiiix brothers. phew) and I mentioned that I don't ever plan on being pregnant. He said "you don't want kids?" I was like "What? What are you talking about brother? I want kids..." There was sort of an awkward pause. "Adoption, duh." I guess the wait is much like the nine months of pregnancy.
I can totally agree with the feeling...except I experienced the adoption feeling first. I felt the same the day we felt called to adopt Steven and Belle as I did the day I found out I was pregnant. They are all gifts from God and I feel so blessed!!! His plan and timing are absolutely perfect.
Thank you so much for putting my feelings into words!
Michelle,
I remember when a VERY good friend of mine said, "Why don't you just find another child from another country that doesn't take so long to bring home?" I was astonished. Isaac was my son before he or I were ever born! Only another adoptive parent can understand that.
SO glad you blogged about this. And congrats on your growing family :)
Love,
Jodi
i first read this and thought "she's going again?! no fair!!!" :) I want to go again and they aren't even my kids! i don't fully understand it, but I kinda do.
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