I've got peace like a river.....

Do you remember the old hymn, I've got peace like a river? That's how I finally feel. As many of you know, this adoption has had many bends and a very slow current, but I can finally say I have total peace. I have NO idea when Noah will get to come home, but I have totally put it in God's hands and I have peace.

I thought I had put it in His hands before, but in reality I had put it in His hands as long as He would do it the way I wanted. When it wasn't happening I thought I had failed or that I hadn't had enough faith to get it done. Really, I just was asking for Him to do it my way and never once took into consideration that He might have a plan greater than mine. Imagine that!

I realize that as a parent we should want our children with us. We should miss them. We should pray that the adoptions would process quickly, but all in all we should just trust. Trust that if it doesn't happen quickly then there must be a plan that we don't see. There must be a reason. When we try to control things or get them done our way, then that puts things in our hands. When we turn it over to Him COMPLETELY, it is then and only then in His hands. It can't be in both. For the first time in this adoption I have completely put it in His hands. I continue to pray for the adoption process and for the various government employees, both US & Haitian, to have wisdom and a desire to do their jobs well, as well as to have a heart for the children and want to see them home with their families. This obviously would be for the good of all Haitian adoptions not just Noah's.

Don't get me wrong, I want him home. I wanted him home months ago. I miss him everyday!! I miss his little laugh, his quirky run, his eyes, and the look on his face when he would come inside during recess and see me across the room, the way he would call to me saying Mama and if I didn't answer he would then say Meeshell. I think if you have never adopted you don't realize the connection. Many people think of it in terms of when he gets home he will be our son, but he became our son the moment the Lord began to lead us to adopt. I remember telling Jeremy I didn't understand how I could feel a love for someone I didn't know, but that is how I felt. When God spoke to my heart about adoption He deposited a love at that moment for Noah that was unexplainable. He is just as much our son as Camden is, he just happens to live in a different country. Jeremy and I both miss him and want him home, but we know without a doubt that God has a plan. Whether Noah comes home tomorrow or five years from now nothing has changed. He is and forever will be our son! God led us to him. God called us to adopt him. God will see it to completion. It will be in His timing and it will be perfect!

A great friend of mine that is also adopting from Haiti said yesterday, "when God called me to this, He said to make her mine, He didn't give me a time." This is so true!! He promised us nothing, except that He was going to deliver our Noah from his destruction. He didn't say it would be fast. He didn't say it would be easy. He didn't say anymore than that. He didn't tell me this road would be one that would change my life in more ways than I ever imagined. He didn't tell me I would fall in love with a little country that I wasn't even sure of where it was at first. He didn't tell me that I would have such joy every time I traveled there. He didn't tell me I would love every child that I came into contact with and would fight for their right to have a great life. He didn't tell me I would become a different person in the midst of all this. He didn't tell me our adoption would start a ripple effect and would allow Him to work in ways that we never dreamed. He didn't tell me any of this, and if He had, maybe it would have scared me. I don't care that He didn't tell me, I'm just thankful that He did it!

Someone ask me the other day how my trip was, I said "oh it was great. I love being there." He said, "Really?" with this great look of such surprise. I said, "Absolutely. I would go once a month if I could." God has given me such a heart for those kids that when I'm away I miss them so much, all of them. I am so thankful that there are several coming to this area, so I can see them grow up and be a part of their lives after they are home. And not just the kids, I love the staff of Angel House, they truly are amazing people. Jeremy and I now have six adult Haitian children. LOL!!

I'm sorry. I know this has been a long post, but I wanted to report there's nothing new, currently, with regards to the process, except that I've got peace like a river!! Thank You Lord!!